What to Prepare
2 minute video (Slate – name, age, grade and role you are auditioning for) See role descriptions below, along with monologue choices/direction.
Seeking the Following Roles
Most actors in Puffs will play several roles, so we are looking for actors who have the ability to quickly switch from one comedic character role to another.
(All playing multiple roles: 5 male, 5 female, 1 either)
–WAYNE HOPKINS (male)
The hero. Totally uncool, but full of charm and heart. Loyal to a tee. Likes comic books and video games, knows nothing about magic or this weird magic world he is now a part of. Best friends with Oliver and Megan. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
–OLIVER RIVERS (male)
One of the main trio. Incredibly smart and cerebral, he is a math wiz, and proud of it; lovingly a nerd from New Jersey. After ending up at wizarding school, he finds out he isn’t the top of his class, and instead begins a fantastical journey of friendship and even some love, better than any algebra class could ever promise. Real comic chops, incredibly appealing, youthful. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
–MEGAN JONES (female)
One of the main trio; begins the show by only desiring to live up to her mother’s reputation: a dark wizard currently in Wiz Priz for being such a bad-ass Death Buddy in her youth. Favorite store: Hot Topic. Favorite color: black. Over time, her tough veneer begins to soften, as a budding romance with Oliver becomes apparent. Defiant and headstrong on the surface, the audience begins to see that her adamance of being completely unique and independent really stems from her desire to be loved and accepted. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
–NARRATOR (either)
The narrator of the story. She/he guides us through our entire show of Puffy-ness. British accent. Must be a great storyteller, as she/he must keep the audience engaged and updated on all the goings-on. Can be a bit of a know-it-all, but still relatable and appealing. Comedy skills a must, improv background is a plus. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
–ERNIE MAC (male) and A VERY TALL MAN / SEAMUS / A CERTAIN POTIONS TEACHER / PROFESSOR TURBAN / GHOST HISTORY TEACH / PROFESSOR LOCKY / MR. NICK / SAL / SECOND HEADMASTER / REAL MR. MOODY
Requires an actor capable of doing strong impressions. Ernie Mac: Proud. Loud. Pretty sure he’s the best. Male Teachers: Potions Teacher/ Locky/ Professor Turban/ Mr. Moody. All impressions. Strong comedic ability. (Impressions: Rickman/ Branagh/Gleeson/Whoever played Quirrell in the movie). Any ethnicity/cultural background.
–HANNAH (female) and FIRST HEADMASTER / PROFESSOR McG / PROFESSOR SPROUTTY / XAVIA JONES / PROFESSOR LANNY / RUNES TEACH / MS. BABBLE
Requires playing several different roles back to back, so the ability to play a variety of character types a plus. Hannah: Shy. Very shy. Female Teachers: Professor McG, Professor Plants, Professor T, Bath Babbles. Adults of all kinds of different personalities. (Maggie Smith impression for McG.) Any ethnicity/cultural background.
–J. FINCH FLETCHLEY (male) and UNCLE DAVE / GOYLE / A FAT FRIAR / CLUMSY LONGBOTTOM / HERMEOONE #3 / VIKTOR / MR. BAGMAN / ZACH SMITH
Improvisational skills a plus. Boyish & fun. Chipper and happy except, when his life is in mortal danger. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
–LEANNE (female) and GINNY / HELGA / FRENCHY
A little distant. A little random. Is possibly a genius or really, really stupid. But has a really strong heart. The Puffiest of the Puffs. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
–SALLY PERKS (female) and HERMEOONE / BLONDO MALFOY / ROWENA / RITA SCOOTER / BIPPY
Sally: Nice. In year 3, goes through a bit of a growth spurt that attracts the other student’s attention, if you know what I mean. Bippy: A house elf. Devoted. Loyal. Kind of annoying. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
–SUSIE BONES (female) and HARRY / COLIN / HERMEOONE #2 / RIC GRYFF / MYRTLE
Susie: Sad. Gloomy. Think Eeyore from “Winnie the Pooh.” Constantly in fear of her or her family dying. Harry: Young, plucky, and famous. Struts around school like he owns it. Gets into a few wacky situations, but it’s nothing the bonds of friendship can’t overcome. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
–CEDRIC (male) and MR. VOLDY
An appealing comic actor to play the pivotal roles of Cedric in Act I and Mr. Voldy in Act II. Cedric: A champion. Athletic, winning, popular, and charming. Everyone’s favorite, but still loyal, patient, and kind. A leading example of a Puff. Mr. Voldy: Evil. Like, reeeaaally evil. Wants to rule the world in shadows and darkness and terror. (Or, ya know, just an amazing Ralph Fiennes impression.) Any ethnicity/cultural background.
–DEATH BUDDIES to be played by all.
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FEMALE ROLES
Everyone auditioning for female roles should prepare ONE monologue as well as the FEMALE CHARACTER SNIPPETS.
FEMALE MONOLOGUES
Please choose one of the following four monologues to perform at your audition.
MONOLOGUE ONE - LEANNE / Leanne is bubbly, excited, and so proud of her Puffness.
It was amazing! Susie! We all thought you’d be dead by now. But look at you, standing there, alive. Wayne. You give the best hugs. Megan! You give better hugs than you think you do. And J. Finch. He’s imaginary, AND HE CAN DO MAGIC! We all can. We’re wizards. So, sure. It would be easy to leave. But wouldn’t it be wrong? We should do what’s right. Like Cedric. I’m a Puff and I’m staying, because if we don’t fight now we may never find out how that hat talks!
MONOLOGUE TWO - MEGAN JONES / Megan is the opposite of Leanne. She is dark, brooding and mysterious.
I never wanted to be a Puff. Every member of my family? Puffs. We’re like THE Puff family. But I’ve always known that I was different. There’s nothing even special about Puffs. Loyalty? Being really nice? A bunch of lame, awful failures doomed to be stupid walking personality-less nobodies that no one will ever care about ever? Ugh. My mom was a Puff. But she was different. She became something bigger. She made the name Jones finally mean something other than a bunch of ... Puffs. I thought ... I knew ... I would be different too. But ... after all my hard work to make myself not a Puff, what do you know? The hat puts me with the Puffs. I did everything. I mean, I even changed my accent just so I wouldn’t sound like my Puff family.
MONOLOGUE THREE - HARRY / In this production, Harry is played by a female. Perhaps Harry doesn’t actually possess the heroic qualities he is so famous for.
Say ... remember the First Task? That was pretty crazy. At first, I was like, “oh no”, but then I was like “broom!” And then I was like “vroom vroom”, but then the dragon broke off his chain and chased me all around the school and almost killed a bunch of people. Hahaha ... ahhh. Remember that? Feels like ages ago. Bye, Wayne! Cedric, look out for that dragon! Just kidding.
MONOLOGUE FOUR - LEANNE / Leanne is bubbly, excited, and so proud of her Puffness.
No! I don’t want to leave. Why is everyone always so down on us? I won’t stand for it anymore! And I won’t sit for it either. And I also won’t stand on one leg because I can’t. Watch. Anyways. Look at your hand! You have a wand! (Everyone looks at the hand that in fact does not have a wand in it.)
Unless you looked at your other hand. Look at yourselves! Hannah. You used to be so awkward. And you still are, but we don’t mind anymore! Who’s that? It’s Ernie Mac. And he is basically the best. And Sally. Remember the time you did that thing?!
FEMALE CHARACTER SNIPPETS
In addition to your monologue, everyone auditioning for female roles should prepare the following character snippets.
Most actors in Puffs will play several roles, so we are looking for actors who have the ability to quickly switch from one comedic character role to another. Bold vocal and physical choices are encouraged.
XAVIA JONES (evil, crazy, dangerous) - I want you to hurt them. Torture them. Kill them, maybe? Prove to me that you are my daughter.
MYRTLE (quirky, unpredictable, odd, ghost with a very distinctive voice) - Goodbye, Cedric. Think of me every time you see a toilet. Waaaaahhhhhhhhh!
PROFESSOR McG (stern, unforgiving, dismissive, old teacher) Mr. Rivers. Oh dear, oh dear. Your wand technique is all wrong. Here, you get to use the training wand. Oooo! Eh hem. Five points from the Puffs.
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MALE ROLES
Everyone auditioning for male roles should prepare ONE monologue as well as the MALE CHARACTER SNIPPETS.
MALE MONOLOGUES
Please choose one of the following four monologues to perform at your audition.
MONOLOGUE ONE - WAYNE HOPKINS / a normal guy who wants to stand out and have others think he is special
Question. Hypothetical. What if I don’t have enough of a personality for the magic talking hat to sort me? Like...how much authority does this hat really have? Never mind. This place is crazy huh? I never thought I’d go to school in a castle. Pretty cool. I’ve never really liked school. People were mean. To me. I’m talking too much. You probably have all your own nervous thoughts going on ... can I tell you something? I think I might be ... special? I watch a lot of movies and read lots of books, and it’s like; a normal boy finds out he actually has amazing abilities and is swept away to a new, magical world? Does that sound familiar? Because that is now my ACTUAL life. And THAT kid, through some incredible circumstances always becomes like the most important person. Like in the whole world. A sort of ... Chosen One. AHH! Magic is real, and this orphaned boy wizard is ready for seven years of amazing adventures!
MONOLOGUE TWO - MISTER VOLDY / is the embodiment of evil
So. Since we’re on the verge of our victory to be remembered for all dark ages to come, pats on the back by the way, I’ve been working on some fun one liners to say when we vanquish out great teenage enemy, Potter. Maybe I can try some out, so you can see how fun thy are - eh hem. “Boy who lived? How about the boy who’s dead now? HA!” “Nice second scar - the one that’s on your whole body - since I killed you.” “Mother’s love your way out of that!” Or my favorite - “Loser says Avada what -” he says, “What” - “KEDABRA!” - then he dies. What? The megaphone is still on? Really? Oh my. I am just having a day, aren’t I? YAH! Harry!
MONOLOGUE THREE - CEDRIC / a very popular kid, a bit of a rockstar in the Puff house, but not the sharpest tool in the shed
And my name...is Cedric. Thanks. Now gather round. Don’t be shy. Welcome to the Puffs! Just a few things to get you acquainted to the school. First, the stars move. Don’t freak out. Just breathe. Second...the Puffs don’t exactly have the best reputation here. People will make jokes about you. Or throw food at you. Or they might curse you. In fact, here is a list of curses you can expect to be hit by at some point in the next week. But none of that matters. Because really, we’re a bunch of nice, fun, happy people. Also, badgers. Badgers are great!
MONOLOGUE FOUR - MISTER VOLDY / is the embodiment of evil
I’m going to ask an uncomfortable question right now. I ask for an honest response. Where are my shoes? I’ve been back three years, and three years - barefooted. No one has offered me a pair of sneakers, or some lounge loafers. Wingtips. At first, I thought oh - maybe this is the fashion - but quickly learned - no - that’s not it. One year later, my little piggies are still out for all to see - it became about the principle of the matter - I’m the Dark Lord. Surely someone will offer me some shoes. Or at least ask if I’m comfortable. But now; we are in the woods. We’ve spent a whole evening outdoors. My feet are wet - I’ve stepped on several pointy rocks - I may need a tetanus shot. So, no.
I am not comfortable. So where are my - what? The megaphone is still on? Really? Oh my. I am just having a day, aren’t I? YAH! Harry!
MALE CHARACTER SNIPPETS
In addition to your monologue, everyone auditioning for male roles should prepare the following 3 character snippets.
Most actors in Puffs will play several roles, so we are looking for actors who have the ability to quickly switch from one comedic character role to another. Bold vocal and physical choices are encouraged.
A CERTAIN POTIONS TEACHER (slimy, sinister, mean, demanding) - You are the most dunderheaded students I have ever seen sit in my class. If you manage to succeed in my course this year, I will eat a shoe. Ten points from the Puffs.
REAL MR. MOODY (wild, confusing, a bit out of control) - And, there’s a curse that kills. We’ll call it the Green Light Curse. Because when you use it there’s a bright green light. AVAVDA KEDABRA!
UNCLE DAVE (Distant, goofy, not ready for parenthood) Oh my Gawd! I forgot to tell you. Yer a Wizard, Wayne! ...Also, wizards exist! ... and you are one. Just like your British parents. Oh crap! Yer parents were British! Wow. We gotta talk more. Come on, I’ll drive ya to the airport!